mixed emotions

Last Sports' Day.
In SMK Seafield.
Or maybe in my WHOLE LIFE.

So how do I feel?
I don't know, actually.

This Sports' Day was a 'first' of all sorts for me :
My first time..
-marching
-marching then running
-worried about not getting a medal in sports
-coming to Sports' Day not expecting to get a medal
-doing sports since I quit sports completely
-running 4x100m not expecting the gold medal(in fact, I didn't expect a medal at all)
-running 4x400m.. um... without preparation :)


My first time..
-feeling good on winning the silver( for 4by100m! I was like : YAYAYAYAYAY! cos I thought we were going to come in 4th! I know its not very nice of me to post this sort of thing here, but.. super happeeeeeeee!!! Thanks Azri for lending me your spikes :) -----
-running with spike shoes on sports day! Yay!
-spending half the time with Lee Yuin on Sports Day <> :P

My list of 'firsts' shall be updated when I think of more stuff. (Which'll most probably be really wu liao things)

And now, I don't know what to do.
I wonder how those people continue training (running) after they've passed a certain age.

For instance, throughout my schooling years, it always has been :
"Training? For what?"
"Sports Day lor."

"Training? For what?"
"Gymrama lor."

"Training? For what?"
"Next year's Sports Day lor." <<< Not true for this year.Hehe.

So now I'm like:
Go running? For what?

If go to college, do colleges have Sports Days? Hmm.

I think I sound like somebody who runs just for the sake of winning.
Gosh. Something's wrong with me.

Hee.

I know!!!! I've just figured it out as I was typing the line above. I mean, the line above 'Hee.'.

I wanna train for my future children! Or something like that.
Then they can go to school and show off that their mum can run. HOHOHO.

But, seriously. How? I don't get it.
Does the whole running thing work like gymrama? As in you run because you have a passion for it?
Or perhaps having a passion for running away from discipline teachers?

Oh dear. I sound like a confused person, don't I?
Well, because I am, actually.

People, please advise on this mind-boggling matter!!
I want to run,
but -





Beat.

Thank you God for granting me my prayers.
Oh. *sheepish smile*
I need to go CF this week.
Cos I promised myself (when I was trying to boost my confidence) that I would go for CF if I returned from Sports Day with a medal.
And I did.
Plus I'll be receiving something on Prize-giving Day.
Conclusion: Beatrice is attending CF this Friday.
but only staying for P&W okiee :) choir needs me. hahaha :)

this is an extremely weird post.eww. :)

House Practice. Secretary.

Okay.
The thing is, I always thought that house practice was from 5.00 to 6.30.
That's why i thought I could go from tuition, which ends at 5, to practice.

I found out yesterday that it actually starts at 4.30. To 6.00.
What the crap????!!!!

I would never have taken the job if ONLY I knew this earlier as there is NO WAY i can make it by 4.30.


But funny thing is, nobodyactually mentioned the time.. So I never realised.


And never realised why I was always 'late'.
I thought I was on time, since I come out a bit earlier from tuition.
But.. arggggh. I never knew that I have always been half an hour late. GOSSSSSHHHHH.


And I just realised that the drafts for the minutes up to before the holidays were in the com. And I conveniently forgot about them. Until yesterday, after being scolded.

I'm sorry, I really am.

But 'sorry no cure'.

It's my last year in this school. I'm turning 17 soon.

And I'm still screwing up things that aren't supposed to be screwed up.


I am irresponsible. I am.



God, please. Help me.





Happy Easter.