Happiness?

Of expectations and formulas for happiness

Something that i read recently (to be more accurate, 1 minute ago) 'stimulated' my very empty thinking cap.

You know the way we hear a lot of

Don't expect anything so that you won't be disappointed.

And this is what I thought was really cool :) :-

To tell you the truth I think that quote is utter bullshit.And I'll tell you why.We NEED expectation in our daily lives.Without expectation,there can be no excitement.Without excitement,everybody will just be jaded and emotionless.Why not you just splash grey paint on the world and drown yourself in morphine,since you want to be so void of emotion.

-jotted by the one and only Farhan

tellmewhentowoah.blogspot.com

Okay, it's no that bad, yeah.

But think about it. How on earth do you expect one to live without expectations?

Even the daft-est person expects something, just that they expect daft things, of course.

I think it's pretty impossible to live trans expectations. How do you live, not expecting something? It'll be like living in an empty nutshell.. a small, black, damp, mind-cramping one, at that.

If you don't expect anything, it'll be akin to not dreaming, not hoping for something to happen. Even the most faithful people expect something .

Now that we're in the heat of this topic, the unquotable quote above , is in other words, one of the feeble attempts to come up with a formula in the pursuit of happiness. Indirectly.

But some 'ingenious' fellows came up with a so-called formulae for happiness, and made it public. Ever heard of it?

Pleasure + engagement + meaning = happiness.

This is one of them.

Another one :

Happiness = P + (5xE) + (3xH)

P stands for Personal Characteristics, including outlook on life, adaptability and resilience.
E stands for Existence and relates to health, financial stability and friendships.
And H represents Higher Order needs, and covers self-esteem, expectations, ambitions and sense of humour.
Sound complicated?

Apparently the formula was worked out by psychologists after interviews with more than 1,000 people.

So do you still belive in the formulas that scientists and researchers have came up with?

There are many more, by the way. Not only these two.

It's like they 'chi bao tai de kong'

(direct translation: too much free time after having their meal)

Now, back to the expectations thing.

So I don't think the quote should go: "Don't expect anything-"

more like:

"Lower your expectations-"

But then that won't be right anymore. Because if you lower your expectations, this means that you already know your initial 'level' of expectation. So you'll still be disappointed if the expected result doesn't come out because in your subconscious mind, you'll still be clinging on to the first expectation!

So what is the formula of happiness?

In my opinion-as if it weren't clear already- is that there simply isn't one.

Most people probably don't know what happiness is, they think happiness is perhaps having lots of money or a big car, or a big house. But people who have all these things are not necessarily happier than people who just enjoy their life.

We tend to be very obsessed with what is wrong, what is missing and what we have not got, rather than focusing on what we want and getting it. It would be nice to just enjoy your life, because life is a bit short.

Pete Cohen, who came up with the mathematics-like equation above(the PEH one), said:

Four in ten men said sex made them happy, and three in ten said a victory by a favourite sports team.
For seven in ten women happiness was related to being with family, and one in four said losing weight.
Romance featured higher for men than women. So did a pay rise and a hobby they enjoyed.
Women were more likely to cite sunny weather.

So does this mean we can come up with a formula with this
result?

C.P Snow once said:

The pursuit of happiness is a most ridiculous phrase:if you pursue happiness,
you'll never find it.

We all can be happy in a heartbeat if we want to. Period.

Or rather,

If you want to be happy,be.

-Leo Tolstoy

And..

Happiness is never stopping to think if you are.

So even if happiness forgets you for a bit, never completely forget about it.

God Bless You~

Now, I'll seat back, go finish that bertimbun-timbun truckloads of homework,

and hope that people actually read this thing. :

;D

INDEBTED TO A SAVIOUR (part 3)

The orthopaedic surgeon diagnosed me with having a severe muscle sprain and that my hip and thigh bone were slightly out of position. They were supposed to fit perfectly into each other, but they had pulled apart a little. He said I had to be out for a year. I was aghast. This killed my chances of taking part in the Nationals anymore! I was upset, I was depressed. I refused to talk to anybody, unless if it was absolutely necessary. I was too angry, too sad, too furious, too dejected to focus on anything because now the melancholy had taken over. I had let everyone down.




Most of all, I had let myself down.

***

I have came a long way since then. I suffered from the injury in September but by December, I was approached by my current teacher-I mean, coach to attend light training under her since she offered to coach me. Talk about a speedy recovery. She was a good friend of my mother’s best friend, so she found out soon enough that I had no intention of resuming training with my previous coach. I was still refusing to talk to anyone at that point and everyone, myself included, was quite shocked I had given her the chance to compromise.

But I never regretted that decision. My current tea- I mean, coach was the one who tapped my potential and talent to the maximum. She slowly guided me back into becoming the person I used to be, the person whom everyone missed. The girl who everyone loved.

*****

I stood beaming from ear to ear on the podium after receiving my gold medals, all six of them. I was now waiting to be awarded the huge gold trophy. If my aura was a colour, it would have to be yellow and gold, the colours of exuberance. If you stood close enough, you would be able to hear my heart shouting with glee and elation. The delight of finally getting here was too overwhelming, I could even burst into tears of jubilance now.

“And the National Finals Champion is….”

I closed my eyes to savour the moment.

In that blink of an eye, I was praying and giving thanks to the only person who was on my mind.

Thank you, teacher.

I mean, coach.

BeatriceLowWeiJin.

it's copyrighted ya know.

by me, du-uh.

*grins*

God Bless....You~

INDEBTED TO A SAVIOUR (part 2)

“Tingg!”
The beep sounded, signaling for me to begin my routine. With a deft kick of my legs, the ball flew high up, giving me time to lower myself to the ground before catching it and rolling over again to do a ‘walkover to flexion’.(It is a move whereby my hands are placed on the ground and I kick my legs over in a split position. When the first leg touches the ground, the other leg is fixed in position to form 180 degrees and my hands are gently lifted a little from the floor. The position when my hands are not touching the floor, my legs in the split position, and my back arched, is known as a flexion.)




I went through my ball routine with ease and fluidity,just like how I had envisioned it. Then came my favourite part. I was to balance on one leg and go all the way down till my body was parallel with the floor and my legs form a straight vertical line. As I lowered my body, I could feel my muscles tightening to give me the balance I needed.




Then suddenly I heard a buckling noise from the joint where my thigh bone meets my hip bone. I felt a sharp jolt of pain shoot right up my leg. Before I knew it, I found myself lying on the floor, my body covering the leg protectively. Then the tears came. As the salty tears streamed down my cheeks, smudging the mascara and eyeliner I had applied, I thought about how agonizing it was to lie there without anyone to help me up from my pitiful, crumpled state I was on the carpet.




Couldn’t anyone see me lying here?



Why is the music still playing? Why can’t they just turn it off?




The melodious tune which I loved and was supposed to be dancing to, was now burning into my ears. I never ever wanted to hear it again. I thought about how life had been, how much time I had sacrificed to commit myself to the sport, all resulting in getting injured on the competition day right in the middle of the routine? I could barely hear the tinkle of narcissistic laughter from my archrivals. With me out, they would go on to claim the medals that I had been training so hard for.




As I lay there, I gave in to the immense feeling that was covering me like a thick, woolen blanket. I gave in to the anguish of letting such an opportunity slip away from me, allowing the sorrow and despair to overwhelm me as I buried my head in my arms and cried and cried till there was no more tears left.

Carpe diem? CARPE DIEM !

Carpe diem
..................
Meaning
Usually translated from the Latin as 'seize the day', or sometimes as 'enjoy the day, pluck the day when it is ripe'.
Origin
The origin source for the Latin phrase is Horace - in Odes Book I:

Dum loquimur, fugerit invida Aetas: carpe diem, quam minimum credula postero

which translates as:

While we're talking, envious time is fleeing: seize the day,
put no trust in the
future.

cool eh?

Sometimes we ponder upon the past.

Or wonder what'll take place in the future.

When in reality all we have to do is stay focused on the present!

No, I am not rejecting the idea of dreams and aspirations nor am I saying that you should never revisit your past.

It's just that the present is just so much more crucial, don't you think?

Peace.

INDEBTED TO A SAVIOUR (part 1)

SO.

the following is contains fiction (like duhh) and is partially the truth.

and if you take hints well, usually the truth is not as good as it seems.

[I submitted it for some competition along with a whole gang of cool people who think writing is fun, plus they read it, so you better keep your hands off my work. HAH.]

:)

Sweat seeped through the black attire covering my body.

My lethargic body sank to the floor out of sheer exhaustion, my right hand still
clutching my red satin ribbon. As I inhaled sharply, all I smelt was the stench that was slowly enveloping me - the stink of sweat. I could see the imprint of sweat which was slowly soaking the black cotton on my body. Urgh. Gross.

“Bea! Get your backside of the carpet! Your throws – all of them are not accurate enough! They don’t fall where their supposed to!”

“Tired lah, teacher..”

“What is this? ‘Tired’? What is tired? As long as your keep throwing as disastrously as just now, you won’t even be able to qualify for the Nationals like you did the last time! You cannot throw your ribbon where it ought to go, then how the heck are you going to finish your routine on time with the music?!”

“And.. I am NOT a teacher!”

Colour flooded my cheeks as I cringed in embarressment. It was one thing to get yelled at, it was a different thing altogether to get yelled at in front of curious onlookers and younger gymnasts. I sighed and mumbled a dreary ‘Yes, coach’ in reply. I am a not a teacher! , she says. I am a coach!!

Hey there. You have just had the privilege of witnessing my rhythmic gymnastics teacher- I mean, coach, howl at me like a shrieking banshee. She is not always like that, my coach, it is just that today is simply not one of her better days. Total that up with a terrible performance on my part, and you will have a very, very grumpy coach.

“Love the sport.
Breathe the sport. When you dance, dance all your love out. Show your love to
the world!”

Every time the thought of giving up enters my head, I cast it
away, with my coach’s voice ringing in my mind.

I took up this sport in Primary 6. After watching the elegance and beauty of the rhythmic gymnasts during the 2004 Athens Olympics, I was hooked. I was intrigued by their poise and agility. The utter charm, grace and cool that each of them seemed to possess and never failed to demonstrate each time they appeared on the screen. So off I went to begin classes. I was not bad, actually, considering that 12 is a rather late age to start rhythmic gymnastics. In fact, I was one of the best in class. Back then, I was under a different coach, one who did not favour gymnasts who were on the fat side (i.e. me), so I had to train on my own at home in order to be up to par with the rest.

*****

fLASHBACK

I took my place on the carpet, my shiny pink ball in between my ankles. I stood straight, took a deep breath, and arched my back, causing the neat bun on my head to gently touch my butt. My hands were placed above my body, resembling doves searching for freedom. I was ready.

Breakfast at McDonald's

This is a good story and is true, please read it all the way through until the end!

I am a mother of three (ages 14, 12, 3) and have recently completed my college degree.

The last class I had to take was Sociology.

The teacher was absolutely inspiring with the qualities that I wish every human being had been graced with.

Her last project of the term was called, 'Smile.'

The class was asked to go out and smile at three people and document their reactions.

I am a very friendly person and always smile at everyone and say hello anyway. So I thought this would be a piece of cake.

Soon after we were assigned the project, my husband, youngest son, and I went out to McDonald's one crisp March morning.

It was just our way of sharing special playtime with our son.

We were standing in line, waiting to be served, when all of a sudden everyone around us began to back away, and then
even my husband did.

I did not move an inch... an overwhelming feeling of panic welled up inside me as I turned to see why they had moved.

As I turned around I smelled a horrible 'dirty body' smell, and there standing behind me were two poor homeless men.

As I looked down at the short gentleman, close to me, he was 'smiling'.

His beautiful sky blue eyes were full of God's Light as he searched for acceptance.

He said, 'Good day' as he counted the few coins he had been clutching.

The second man fumbled with his hands as he stood behind his friend. I realized the second man was mentally challenged and the blue-eyed gentleman was his salvation.

I held my tears as I stood there with them.

The young lady at the counter asked him what they wanted.

He said, 'Coffee is all Miss' because that was all they could afford. (If they wanted to sit in the restaurant and warm up, they had to buy something. He just wanted to be warm).

Then I really felt it - the compulsion was so great I almost reached out and embraced the little man with the blue eyes.

That is when I noticed all eyes in the restaurant were set on me, judging my every action.

I smiled and asked the young lady behind the counter to give me two more breakfast meals on a separate tray.

I then walked around the corner to the table that the men had chosen as a resting spot. I put the tray on the table and laid my hand on the blue-eyed gentleman's cold hand.

He looked up at me, with tears in his eyes, and said, 'Thank you.'

I leaned over, began to pat his hand and said, 'I did not do this for you. God is here working through me to give you hope.'

I started to cry as I walked away to join my husband and son. When I sat down my husband smiled at me and said, 'That is why God gave you to me, Honey, to give me hope.'

We held hands for a moment and at that time, we knew that only because of the Grace that we had been given were we able to give.

We are not church goers, but we are believers.

That day showed me the pure Light of God's sweet love.

I returned to college, on the last evening of class, with this story in hand.

I turned in 'my project' and the instructor read it.

Then she looked up at me and said, 'Can I share this?'

I slowly nodded as she got the attention of the class.

She began to read and that is when I knew that we as human beings and being part of God share this need to heal people and to be healed.

In my own way I had touched the people at McDonald's, my son, instructor, and every soul that shared the classroom on the last night I spent as a college student.

I graduated with one of the biggest lessons I would ever learn:

UNCONDITIONAL ACCEPTANCE.

Much love and compassion is sent to each and every person who may read this and learn how to

LOVE PEOPLE AND USE THINGS - NOT LOVE THINGS AND USE PEOPLE.




.

Next.(Credits to Johanna for sending this to me)

IF SOMEONE HAD A GUN HELD IN FRONT OF YOUR FACE AND ASKED YOU IF YOU BELIEVED IN GOD, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? SAY NO AND FEEL ASHAMED THE REST OF YOUR LIFE?OR SAY YES, I DO, AND DIE STANDING UP FOR GOD?.

Note: This is a true article that was printed in a southern newspaper less then a year ago .TAKE A DEEP BREATH BEFORE READING

THIS

There was an atheist couple who had a child.
The couple never told their daughter anything about the Lord.
One night when the little girl was 5 years old, the parents fought with each other and the dad shot the Mom, right in front of the child.
Then, the dad shot himself.
The little girl watched it all.
She then was sent to a foster home.
The foster mother was a Christian and took the child to church.
On the first day of Sunday School, the foster mother told the teacher that the girl had never heard of Jesus, and to have patience with her.
The teacher held up a picture of Jesus and said, 'Does anyone know who this is?'
The little girl said,

'I do, that's the man who was holding me the night my parents died.'

***







Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell.


Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says.

Funny how everyone wants to go to heaven provided they do not have to believe, think, say, or do anything the Bible says. (Or is it scary?)

Funny how someone can say 'I believe in God' but still follow Satan (who, by the way, also 'believes' in God).

Funny how you can send a thousand 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire, but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing.

Funny how the lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene pass freely through cyberspace, but the public discussion of Jesus is suppressed in the school and workplace.

Funny how we can go to church for Christ on Sunday, but be an invisible Christian the rest of the week. (Are you laughing?)

Funny how I can be more worried about what other people think of me than what God thinks of me. (Are you thinking?)

Pass this on only if you mean it.

Yes, I do Love God!

Isn't it strange how a 10 ringgit bill seems like such a large amount when you donate it to church, but such a small amount when you go shopping?

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Isn't it strange how 2 hours seem so long when you're at church, and how short they seem when you're watching a good movie?

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Isn't it strange that you can't find a word to say when you're praying, but you have no trouble thinking what to talk about with a friend?

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Isn't it strange how difficult and boring it is to read one chapter of the Bible, but how easy it is to read 100 pages of a popular novel or stephenie meyer book?

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Isn't it strange how everyone wants front-row-tickets to concerts or games, but they do whatever is possible to sit at the last row in Church?

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Isn't it strange how we need to know about an event for Church 2-3 weeks before the day so we can include it in our agenda, but we can adjust it for other events in the last minute?

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Isn't it strange how difficult it is to learn a fact about God to share it with others, but how easy it is to learn, understand, extend and repeat gossip?

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Isn't it strange how we believe everything that magazines and newspapers say, but we question the words in the Bible?

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Isn't it strange how everyone wants a place in heaven, but they don't want to believe, do, or say anything to get there?

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IT'S STRANGE ISN'T IT?

God bless!

love,

beatbeat

.wendy jo.

feelings:nil.

announcement (well, sort of)

NEXT,

I am really happy with where I went just now. You don't need to know where. *evil laugh*

erm and when i was asked there earlier...

"You wanna thank God.. for anything?"

Don't ask me why i was asked this okay. The people who were there .. well, don't come to my blog so i think i can say this... they underestimated me A LOT. hahahahaXD not that i minded though :) you will see-lah the reason.. when the time comes 8)

to which i replied...

"Thank God....... (insert super long shy hesitation)........ for......... everything."

to everyone who was there just now, well, i really meant it.

(they don't even come here so i have no idea why i'm addressing this to them)

Simply because i couldn't really particularly pinpoint a particular happening to thank God for.

Even the word everything doesn't cover everything i thank God for.

That's about it.

Oh! I almost forgot :)

HAPPY SPARKLING BLESSED

NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!

Please don't ask why i put 'sparkling' there. It just seemed appropriate :D

God Bless.

loves,

beatbeat